Why is it, when I find myself mindlessly wandering the cyber world (which is like all day every day!) I find so many women out there who are witty and creative? And all it does is make me feel like I am pretty worthless b/c I waste every spare minute on the dumb computer while others are making homemade bread and fun Halloween crafts taking fabulous pictures (even though they've never studied photography in their lives!) and just being productive with their time. Why can't I be witty? Why aren't I creative (unless I'm stealing someone else's ideas with step-by-step instructions)? Why can't I get the motivation to get up off my lazy butt and actually DO something with my 2 year old son instead of popping in yet another movie into the DVD player to act as baby sitter so I can do nothing? Why did I get stuck with the lazy gene?
And while I'm on the subject of why, Why can't I have this baby already?!
5 comments:
Whatev. Everybody starts feeling the same way-- like they never do anything cool etc. etc. when they look at other people's stuff too much. The thing about blogs is- they only show what they want to show. Usually if I'm in a crappy mood, yelling at my kids all day, not getting out of my pajamas, serving cereal for dinner- I certainly don't feel like blogging about it. I don't tell that part. But when I DO make something kinda crafty, or make a really spiffy meal, or do something especially fun with my kiddos, then of course I feel like taking pictures and in a way-- showing it off.
So you read a person's blog and their life seems constantly creative, happy, good, etc. when it just isn't that way at all.
Like living in Switzerland- everybody says they are jealous, and I see why, but a lot of the time I am lonely and for some things can't wait to get back to the good U.S.A.
So don't feel bad any more! And I can't wait to see and hear about your baby coming!!!!!!!!
I personally feel that what you did for Devin's birthday was very fun and creative. Give yourself some credit!
I think your last question answers it all--you're pregnant! and not just pregnant, super-pregnant, time for new baby anytime now. It happens to all of us--there are just phases, and sometimes we need to rest more than other times (especially when we are this pregnant!) I was kind of bummed out last fall because my first trimester wiped me out, and i had been wanting to do more crafts and art stuff with jane. instead, we watched a lot of pbs and movies and she let me take naps while grey took naps. she was lonely. but things got better, and it helped me see that we don't have to do everything at once. it's hard not to compare ourselves to everyone else, and the internet is full of all kinds of comparisons. i really admire that you are there with devin, and you will be there for your little girl. i've always admired that in you--that you have wanted to stay home with your kids. thanks for being a great example on that. hang in there! she will come soon!
I think we are all blessed with the lazy gene ("the natural man") and we have days when it's easy to overcome it and days when it's not, and days when it's okay to just rest and take it easy. You are very creative - you just haven't figured that out yet! I love all the fun things you do for Devin. You've seen the cakes I've made - none of them compare to the ones you have made! You are a beautiful, wonderful daughter, and I love you!
Kirsta, you're a woman and we women tend to be very hard on ourselves. Don't compare. Try thinking of everything that you do awesome. You are his mother for a reason and that is what is important. You are the best mom for your children. I actually think your sister (K) told me that once. You are also pregnant and that gives you license to feel tired. lazy. You are doing something super important and time-consuming and energy-sapping --- YOU ARE MAKING A BABY INSIDE OF YOU. How amazing is that?! And how amazing are you for being a mom of two?! Life is too short to spend it comparing ourselves to others. Compare yourself to yourself. Was today better than yesterday? That's how I have to go, these days. One day at a time. If it was even slightly better than the day before, you can give yourself the "Mother of the Year" award :)
(sorry for the essay)
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